life

  • Five in the Morning

    Five in the Morning

    I sit on the edge of the bed at 4:30 in the morning and think about all of the fractures in a life. There is something about this hour that strips away distraction. The world is quiet enough that truth begins rising to the surface whether you want it to or not. I think about…

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  • Before They Said It Out Loud

    Did you ever want to say to someone: “You can invent whatever little stories or excuses you need to tell yourself and other people. But in the end, this comes down to one simple truth. You’re a homophobe. And deep down, you know it. What’s more important is that I know it. And I always…

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  • Never a Mystery

    Never a Mystery

    I always hated the game that was being played around me. “Is he or isn’t he?” It was never anyone’s business to begin with, and if it mattered that much, all they had to do was ask. I would have answered. The truth is, the people who needed to know, knew. I was always resentful…

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  • The Punchline Was on Him

    The Punchline Was on Him

    You know, I came out to my parents before anyone else. My mom was the first to know. Then again, a mother always knows. I believe that is true. It was not easy being the odd man out in a family. You learn to adjust. You learn to pay attention. Every time I encountered homophobia…

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  • Mornings Like This

    Mornings Like This

    It’s in the quiet times of the morning when my mind wanders back to the past. There’s a lot of hurt there, and it would be very easy to wrap myself in it and disappear for a while. Someone once asked me about my ex. I told them I stepped away from that situation to…

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  • Nothing Else Should Matter

    Nothing Else Should Matter— Steven A. LaChance How did we learn to live like this,in a world that leans so easily toward hate? Where did it begin,this quiet beliefthat we are somehow betterthan the person standing beside us,to the right,to the left,close enough to touchbut kept at a distanceby nothing more than an idea. What…

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  • Inside Grace

    Inside Grace

    I’ve spent some time over this past week writing about the crucifixion and the resurrection. Not because I felt the need to explain them, and not because I think I have answers that anyone else doesn’t. I wrote because I had something to say, and because it is still rare to see a gay man…

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  • He is Risen

    He is Risen

    He is risen. That is the line that survives. Clean. Direct. Easy to hold onto. But it is not where the story ends. It is where things become harder to understand. Just days before, the people of Jerusalem thought they knew who Jesus was. They welcomed him with an understanding of a version of him…

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  • You Don’t Need Fixed

    You Don’t Need Fixed

    I grew up in a time when you could turn on the news and hear people tell you, plainly, that if you were an LGBTQ+ young person, something about you was wrong. Not misunderstood. Not still figuring it out. Wrong. And it wasn’t quiet. It was said out loud, in living rooms, on television, in…

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  • Thirty Eight Seconds

    Thirty Eight Seconds

    I don’t talk about this very often. It’s not because I’m trying to keep it private. It’s just one of those things that doesn’t come up in normal conversation, and honestly, I’ve never felt the need to turn it into something bigger than what it was. I was on the operating table when I died.…

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