Steven LaChance Blog

I always hated the game that was being played around me. “Is he or isn’t he?” It was never anyone’s business to begin with, and if it mattered that much, all they had to do was ask. I would have answered. The truth is, the people who needed to know, knew.

I was always resentful that people felt something so personal was their right to know. I never went around asking others about their private lives. Their questions felt just as intrusive and just as unnecessary.

I never made it the centerpiece of my life. It mattered, but it mattered in the right places, with the people I chose to let in. And I was never completely comfortable making a declaration. I lived in a gray area for a long time, with degrees that shifted, something that changed over time.

For me, what I did in my bedroom and with whom was my business. It never felt subversive. It never felt like something to hide. It was no one’s fucking business but my own.

Now I can say it clearly. I’m a gay man. But it wasn’t always that simple.

And I think we’ve become too occupied with who is and who isn’t, from every side. If we want a world where it’s simply accepted, then we have to start treating it that way. Not a secret. Not a spectacle. Just a part of a person, nothing more, nothing less.