Steven LaChance Blog

I read something recently that said LGBTQ+ people are going to start going back into the closet. I’m not sure how that is even possible once that door has been opened. It is true that in some ways we come out every time we meet someone new or find ourselves in a new situation. I also believe LGBTQ+ people are becoming more cautious right now, and there are good reasons for that. But being cautious is not the same thing as going back into the closet.

Think about what that would actually mean for someone who has been living openly for years. It would mean changing everything about your life and somehow pretending that the people you love don’t exist. Rick is my husband. My family knows he is my husband. My friends know. The people who follow me know. Being gay isn’t some secret piece of information I can suddenly put back into a box and hide away.

The idea that I am going to be silenced and pushed back into some secret life is fucking ridiculous. I can assure you that is not and never will happen here. I will go to the ends of the earth to be me and stay me. I am not kidding when I say that.

This is also bigger than me. Now more than ever, those of us who are able to be visible need to remain visible for the people who cannot. There are people hiding right now because they have to. There are people living in families, communities and countries where being themselves could cost them everything. There are young LGBTQ+ people looking at the world around them and wondering what kind of future is waiting for them. Those of us who can safely stand in the light need to make sure they can see us.

So, with that said, I am a proud gay man of 61. I am happily married to my husband, Rick. I am a father and I am a grandfather. I live a good life. I live a happy life. When I came out at 29, I was told I would never have the life I have today. I was told I would never find lasting love or have the kind of future I wanted for myself. Every person who told me that was wrong.

There is a life on the other side of hiding. There is love out here. There is family. There is happiness. There is an entire world waiting for you. Maybe you cannot live openly today. Maybe your circumstances make that impossible or unsafe right now. That does not mean this is where your story ends.

I am standing out here at 61, living a life I was once told would never be possible. I intend to stay visible because somewhere there is someone who needs to see that.

If that person is you, I hope you can see me.