queer

  • Before They Said It Out Loud

    Did you ever want to say to someone: “You can invent whatever little stories or excuses you need to tell yourself and other people. But in the end, this comes down to one simple truth. You’re a homophobe. And deep down, you know it. What’s more important is that I know it. And I always…

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  • When Silence Becomes the Rule

    This week, legislation tied to proposals like the one introduced by Tim Walberg is being pushed at the federal level. We’ve already seen the blueprint in Florida with what became known as the “Don’t Say Gay” law. It started the same way. Curriculum. Appropriateness. Protecting children. People said it was limited. People said it wouldn’t…

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  • Never a Mystery

    Never a Mystery

    I always hated the game that was being played around me. “Is he or isn’t he?” It was never anyone’s business to begin with, and if it mattered that much, all they had to do was ask. I would have answered. The truth is, the people who needed to know, knew. I was always resentful…

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  • The Punchline Was on Him

    The Punchline Was on Him

    You know, I came out to my parents before anyone else. My mom was the first to know. Then again, a mother always knows. I believe that is true. It was not easy being the odd man out in a family. You learn to adjust. You learn to pay attention. Every time I encountered homophobia…

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  • Inside Grace

    Inside Grace

    I’ve spent some time over this past week writing about the crucifixion and the resurrection. Not because I felt the need to explain them, and not because I think I have answers that anyone else doesn’t. I wrote because I had something to say, and because it is still rare to see a gay man…

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  • You Don’t Need Fixed

    You Don’t Need Fixed

    I grew up in a time when you could turn on the news and hear people tell you, plainly, that if you were an LGBTQ+ young person, something about you was wrong. Not misunderstood. Not still figuring it out. Wrong. And it wasn’t quiet. It was said out loud, in living rooms, on television, in…

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  • I Want You to Know Who I Am

    It was around 1998. I was dating a man who lived in Columbia, Missouri. He was a tennis player. A handsome man who looked a little like a young Robert Redford. I fell hard for those blue eyes and that chiseled jaw. At the time I was raising my three children on my own. On…

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  • Paperwork Instead of Bullets

    Right now, the United States is using a practice that allows asylum seekers to be deported to third countries. That means people are not necessarily sent back to where they came from. They can be sent to any country willing to accept them. For LGBTQ+ refugees fleeing persecution, this has life or death consequences. People…

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  • Did We?

    You know, they say every generation of LGBTQ+ people stands on the shoulders of the accomplishments of the one before it. That is true, at least in part. And yet lately, it can feel as if we have faltered some along the way. I catch myself in those darker hours of the night, when sleep…

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  • It’s in the Bloodline, Honey

    A dream of my grandmother revealed a truth that lingers: we inherit more than DNA. We carry the stories, emotions, and unfinished dreams of those who came before us. It’s all in the bloodline.

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