healing
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Right after my sister died, I went down a spiral questioning absolutely everything about life. I became angry and bitter. My mind was filled with questions, but one kept circling louder than the others: are we really in control of our lives, or is everything already decided and fate simply set into motion? Fate. There…
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Life with my mother comes back in flashes now. It is funny how differently you see things as an adult than you did as a child. I see her more human now than I ever did before. I see the other side of the story that children are often too young to understand. I understand…
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I sit on the edge of the bed at 4:30 in the morning and think about all of the fractures in a life. There is something about this hour that strips away distraction. The world is quiet enough that truth begins rising to the surface whether you want it to or not. I think about…
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It’s in the quiet times of the morning when my mind wanders back to the past. There’s a lot of hurt there, and it would be very easy to wrap myself in it and disappear for a while. Someone once asked me about my ex. I told them I stepped away from that situation to…
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I’ve spent some time over this past week writing about the crucifixion and the resurrection. Not because I felt the need to explain them, and not because I think I have answers that anyone else doesn’t. I wrote because I had something to say, and because it is still rare to see a gay man…
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Someday the world will wake up and I will no longer be here. Morning will come the way it always does. Coffee will be made. People will go to work. The quiet machinery of daily life will keep moving forward without noticing that one more voice has gone silent. That is the simple truth of…
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It was around 1998. I was dating a man who lived in Columbia, Missouri. He was a tennis player. A handsome man who looked a little like a young Robert Redford. I fell hard for those blue eyes and that chiseled jaw. At the time I was raising my three children on my own. On…
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Every once in a while I stop and look at two books sitting on my shelf. The Uninvited and The Architecture of Shadows. They were written many years apart, but in a strange way they belong to the same story. The Uninvited was the beginning of everything for me. It tells the story of what…
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These are thoughts from the quiet moments in the morning, from a night that was too long. Sometimes the quiet in the early morning gets loud enough that I finally let myself say it. Not out of frustration. Not as a defense. Just because it is true. I did my best. I was a very…
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This morning I sat down to write and worked on a few things. The grammar was right and the punctuation was right. The sentences did exactly what they were supposed to do, and that was the problem. None of it felt like me. It felt like I was behaving on the page, keeping things in…
Steven LaChance Blog 