relationships

  • Mother’s Day

    Mother’s Day

    Life with my mother comes back in flashes now. It is funny how differently you see things as an adult than you did as a child. I see her more human now than I ever did before. I see the other side of the story that children are often too young to understand. I understand…

    Read more →

  • The Punchline Was on Him

    The Punchline Was on Him

    You know, I came out to my parents before anyone else. My mom was the first to know. Then again, a mother always knows. I believe that is true. It was not easy being the odd man out in a family. You learn to adjust. You learn to pay attention. Every time I encountered homophobia…

    Read more →

  • Mornings Like This

    Mornings Like This

    It’s in the quiet times of the morning when my mind wanders back to the past. There’s a lot of hurt there, and it would be very easy to wrap myself in it and disappear for a while. Someone once asked me about my ex. I told them I stepped away from that situation to…

    Read more →

  • I Was Here

    I Was Here

    Someday the world will wake up and I will no longer be here. Morning will come the way it always does. Coffee will be made. People will go to work. The quiet machinery of daily life will keep moving forward without noticing that one more voice has gone silent. That is the simple truth of…

    Read more →

  • I Want You to Know Who I Am

    It was around 1998. I was dating a man who lived in Columbia, Missouri. He was a tennis player. A handsome man who looked a little like a young Robert Redford. I fell hard for those blue eyes and that chiseled jaw. At the time I was raising my three children on my own. On…

    Read more →

  • I Did My Best

    I Did My Best

    These are thoughts from the quiet moments in the morning, from a night that was too long. Sometimes the quiet in the early morning gets loud enough that I finally let myself say it. Not out of frustration. Not as a defense. Just because it is true. I did my best. I was a very…

    Read more →

  • Meet Me in St. Louis

    Meet Me in St. Louis

    Every year, for as long as I can remember, I watched Meet Me in St. Louis with my mom. Every Christmas. That was our tradition. She loved that movie. I didn’t realize it at the time, but she was teaching me something. About music. About warmth. About how certain stories quietly become part of who…

    Read more →

  • The Kind of September

    “Try to remember the kind of September.” That line has been echoing in my head all day, and maybe it is because September once carried a very different meaning. When I was young, Labor Day was not just a holiday. It was the last day of freedom before school began again. In St. Louis, we…

    Read more →

  • Making a Scene

    There is a difference between living straight and living queer. That difference follows us everywhere even when no one speaks of it. Straight people rarely notice because the world already belongs to them. They see themselves reflected on every screen, in every commercial, on every billboard, in every book. Their stories are told without question.…

    Read more →

  • I Am Not the Secret

    I am not the secret,though they tried to make me one—hiding truth behind closed doors,feeding silence instead of love,teaching bitterness as inheritance.I was the boy they blamed,the brother they resented,the son who stood in the shadows of lies. I am not the sin,though they laid it on my shoulders.I am not the weight of their…

    Read more →