Lifestyle

  • I Was Here

    I Was Here

    Someday the world will wake up and I will no longer be here. Morning will come the way it always does. Coffee will be made. People will go to work. The quiet machinery of daily life will keep moving forward without noticing that one more voice has gone silent. That is the simple truth of…

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  • I Want You to Know Who I Am

    It was around 1998. I was dating a man who lived in Columbia, Missouri. He was a tennis player. A handsome man who looked a little like a young Robert Redford. I fell hard for those blue eyes and that chiseled jaw. At the time I was raising my three children on my own. On…

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  • The Performance of Survival

    School should be a safe place for all kids regardless of race, religion, sexual orientation, or anything else that might make them different from others. That is the ideal people like to talk about. But the truth is that it is not and never really has been. Growing up, I understood something very clearly even…

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  • Eyes Open. Heart Steady.

    Eyes Open. Heart Steady.

    If you live in this world long enough, you are going to live through some type of instability. I know I have. I could list them out. Hate crimes. Civil unrest. Moments that remind you how quickly things can shift. I remember Ferguson. I remember fire trucks parked across streets like makeshift barricades. I remember…

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  • Coming Out

    Coming Out

    Here’s something I’ve learned over the years. Coming out is not a one time event. It is not just something gay people do. It is something we all do, over and over again, in different ways, throughout our lives. We just do not always call it that. Coming out is what happens when you finally…

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  • Neighbors, Not Enemies

    Neighbors, Not Enemies

    You know what has been bothering me lately about the state of things in the United States? How much of what we are living through feels rooted in hating your neighbor. Not debating policy. Not wrestling with ideas. Not even arguing about the direction of the country. It feels personal now. It feels aimed at…

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  • Nightmares and Dreams: More Than One Explanation

    Nightmares and dreams have always played a part in my life. If you have read any of my books, you already know that. I have had recurring nightmares. The man in the shower in the basement of the house in Union stayed with me for a long time. He followed me into sleep. There was…

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  • I Did My Best

    I Did My Best

    These are thoughts from the quiet moments in the morning, from a night that was too long. Sometimes the quiet in the early morning gets loud enough that I finally let myself say it. Not out of frustration. Not as a defense. Just because it is true. I did my best. I was a very…

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  • “No One Is Illegal on Stolen Land”Billie Eilish

    When people get mad at a line like that, it usually is not because it is historically wrong. It is because it cuts too close to something we are taught not to question. But maybe we should. If you look at the history of the Americas, borders did not appear because everyone agreed politely. They…

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  • We the People?

    We the People?

    I keep thinking about how different things might feel if we actually lived in a country of ideas. A place where “We the People” meant everyone. Not some of us. Not the protected. Not the powerful. Just all of us. But we never have. And that truth stings more than I want to admit. What…

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